GUILT

Oooohhh man, is this not our main nemesis? Sometimes I feel this in multiplicity. Guilt over this, guilt over that. I forgot to give them their vitamins, I yelled when he didn't listen, they ate McD's for lunch (again) today, they watched too much t.v.... the list goes on. Each day there are so many things that we can choose to feel guilty about, but there are also a great many of things which we can feel good about. Maybe today you did your best. You made beds. You caught up on the laundry. You made a dinner to please everyone. Or you just made dinner. Or you just were there. Even for a moment. In ourselves let us not dwell on our shortcomings. Instead, let us dwell on our forthcomings, what we have accomplished today. One day at a time. One moment at a time...

Last night I cleaned out the boys' closet. There were lots of clothes that needed to be sorted through, some to give away, some so worn I'm surprised were still in the closet! I came across some really sweet things my little guy used to wear, but now they're too small.

I've saved a few of my favorites, but I've kept it down to one large tub for both boys. I know some people who hang on to stuff just in case they decide to have one more. NOPE not me! I always had wanted four kids, but after my first pregnancy, I was okay with just one. Good thing Tyler came to us as a surprise, or TC may have been an only child! Life with these two hooligans is enough of a handful and I already spend much of my time fretting over whether I'm raising two respectful, independent, caring individuals or if I'm getting it all wrong! I can't imagine being responsible for any more little lives.

It made me a little sad to think that the baby days are over, but not because I miss having a baby in the house; I worry that I missed some magical bliss that others experienced in the early months/years. A friend of mine has decided to have one or two more and it made me think about reconsidering my stance on remaining a two-child family. I decided that it's not fair to myself, our family, or an innocent little life to have another child in hopes that maybe I could enjoy the baby-stage properly!

Don't get me wrong, above all else I love my boys more than anything on earth, but the first few years were CRAZY!!! I'll fill you in on the next post...